Coming Out as a Straight Ally

I have absolutely no problem telling the world that I am a straight ally of the LGBTQIA community. In fact, I enjoy telling people, regardless of positive or negative reactions. Weirdly enough, though, I have trouble "coming out" to members of the LGBTQIA community.

It has to do with my job. Pretty much anyone who hears that I am the LGBTQA Connection Associate instantly believes that I, therefore, must be either a lesbian or bisexual. At the very least, I must be closeted, right? I get it. "Why would a straight, cis-gendered person have the audacity to apply for this position? She's snatching an opportunity right out of the hands of someone who is actually LGBT!"

I know that there are people who think that I am not qualified to work with the LGBTQA Connection. The hardships and adversities of the LGBTQIA students on this campus are not my own, and that experiential factor is crucial in fostering relationships with the students who I will be working with. There are bound to be students who do not or will not see me as an accessible resource.


When I identify myself as the Connection Associate, I tend to omit my sexual identity because the false assumption of my sexuality is comforting to students ... I think. I have no idea. I haven't asked anyone.

I do know that it's hypocritical of me. I personally and professionally encourage students to "come out," but I can't "come out" myself because of my own insecurities -- I'm afraid that those same students will be offended or insulted that this straight chick is one of the people that they're supposed to come to when they need something on campus.

But I also think that my sexuality should not be a point of concern because it does not affect my ability to work with and for the LGBTQIA students of this campus. Let my work ethic, my commitment, my support, and my passion prove that I am a capable individual that will grow and improve.

In order to combat the thought that I am unqualified, I plan on spending this summer self-educating myself in everything that is LGBTQIA. I also will not be taking a break from working with the Connection during the summer. (Kim Taylor thinks that she can deter me with the promise of "working for free." Nope.) Hopefully, I can work my way through all of the Ursinus College literature and make sure that it is all-inclusive and help assemble the resource guide for out Mentor Program.

Coming out is an eternal process. Even for straight, cis-gendered allies. It really is just a matter of not letting one's sexuality or gender identity/expression define us.

Note: If anyone reading this wants to send me some LGBTQIA literature or resources to familiarize myself with, please e-mail me at jedavis@urisnus.edu. Thanks!