The Ins and Outs of Coming Out

If you were to ask me about my sexuality now, I'd immediately tell you what I identify as, as well as having a few pithy nicknames for it. (Example: Oh, I'm an equal opportunity employer.) However, it hasn't always been this way. Coming out to my family was a much longer and more awkward process.

My mother was the first to know, and like all serious conversations, it happened in the car. I don't know about other families, but most really serious revelation conversations happen in the car. I came out to my mom at 14 in the parking lot of Friendly's, I kid you not. Looking back at it now, it seems like something out of a movie: me and my mom sitting in the parking lot, me turning to her and saying I had something to tell her. Her response was one of tentative acceptance, saying she needed some time to think about it. She's 100% supportive now.

Fast forward to Christmas Eve my senior year of high school. My sister and I  are driving home from church. We're at a stop light and I turn to her and say, "Sarah, I'm bisexual." Good thing we were stopped at the time, because she turned to me and said with shock, "Really? But you're so boy crazy." I remember laughing a little.

Telling my dad was the much more dramatic, sit in the living room on opposite pieces of furniture kind of scenario at the end of high school. The jury's still out on how he feels. He pretty much ignores it. I've come to accept the fact that until I actually bring a girl home, it's kind of a non-issue for him.

Moral of the story: Make sure the car is parked. You don't want your family driving off the road when you come out. Coming out to people might seem like a momentous, impossible task, but it's not. Do it on your own schedule. The right people will be accepting of you.  

What's in a Name?

So maybe I'm in the minority, but when I think about gay right's and all that I have very mixed feelings.  On the one hand, yes, I want equal rights, I want to be treated like everybody else, I want to be accepted, I want to be allowed to marry the man I love, but on the flip side, I just want to be thought of as normal.  I know this isn't very clear, so I will try to explain.

Why do we have to have titles? Terms? Why are we gay, bi, straight, lesbian, homosexual, heterosexual, transgender?  Can't we all just be?  This is the idea of utter acceptance which I desire for the future.  A world where no one discriminates because they don't know what discrimination is.  Some activists are so about putting "I'M DIFFERENT" in someone's face that it turns people away.  And I'm not trying to say my way is best either, I just like to think that the more subtle route is the more sound route, and thus the longest lasting.  I wish I could see a world where we were all just humans.  Some might say that is boring, though I feel we could then begin to focus on the positive differences between us all.

These are just some thoughts...